"Good Advice"

Title: Good Advice

Fandom(s): Naruto RPG; Patricia Briggs (Alpha and Omega and Mercy)

Spoilers: from Naruto RPG land

Rating: PG
Genre(s): General; Humor
Characters: Umino Hiroshi; Bran Cornnick, Charles Cornnick
Prompt: Hiroshi meets Charles
Summary: Rule one: don't make eye contact. Rule two: never piss off dieties
Word Count: 1,047
Disclaimer: The Alpha and Omega/Mercy Characters belong to Patricia Briggs, the Naruto ‘verse belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Hiroshi and his irritable, over-protective and twitcy canine-self are mine. They don't take well to strangers.
Author’s Notes: Requested by Leah. I could continue this for a while and may do so. Hiro isn't too happy with me right now. Uberwolves make him nervous.

***

The snow was a dead giveaway that Umino Hiroshi was not in Konoha anymore. He could have been in Snow Country, except that it was no longer Snow Country and now Spring Country, thanks to their Hokage’s early genin days. Frowning, he turned around slowly to survey his current predicament and froze as a light breeze brought a scent to him.

Predators. Pack. Fur. Hunt. Danger.

Inu-Hiroshi was already stirring in the back of his mind, ready to leap forward at a moments notice even as he growled his displeasure at the Kami who decided it would be fun to drop him deep in the territory of a pack of…not-wolves, if his nose was right.

His chakra sense tingled and he was suddenly aware of at least two approaching signatures. One was frighteningly like a combination of his uncle’s and his own (known only because of his brothers’ ability to imitate people down to their signature for a short period of time) half-crazed tentative control that Hiroshi quickly snarled at his Inu-self to shut up and let him handle this. The second signature was the one that Hiroshi decided was actually the most dangerous and potentially dominant. It reminded him of his mother’s super tight control which led people to believe that the petit woman was no threat and that it was her children you needed to watch out for.

Hiroshi had always snorted at that. There was a reason even he and his Inu-self continued to follow his mother as pack-leader, despite his dominance. As scary and territorial and dominant he was his mother still made him look like a puppy with no self control.

With a tight jaw, Hiroshi forced himself to take a seat in the snow and attempt to appear non-threatening (very difficult) and confused (not difficult).

The pair was nearly upon him and Hiroshi spent his last moments alone snarling curses at the Kami who seemed to take sadistic delight in tormenting his clan.

The approaching not-wolves stopped a distance from him, still hidden in the forest.

Hiroshi sighed and called out, “If I apologized profusely and swore on every god I’ve ever heard of I had no idea how I ended up here, would there be any chance of you letting me slink away and attempt to get home?”

“I’m afraid not.” An amused voice answered in English and Hiroshi blinked a moment while his mind switched languages. English was used as a minor code language for shinobi, which meant that anyone of chuunin rank or higher was fluent.

“Damn.” He sighed in the same language, “Can you tell me where I’ve managed to end up, then?”

“Just outside of Aspen Creek, Montana.” The amused voice said again and its owner finally stepped out into the open. He was a shorter man (again striking a chord in his superficial resemblance to his mother) with sandy hair. He looked very young but Hiroshi doubted he was. He twitched a bit as the second man stepped forward too.

Hiroshi made sure to keep a very, very tight grip on his Inu-self and to avoid eye contact altogether. He brought a hand up to rub at his temples and tried to ignore his Inu-self’s howls and snarls as he felt waves of power declaring the two men dominant to his trained senses.

“You’re not a werewolf.” The second man said. It wasn’t a question. Hiroshi blinked and glanced up at them for a split second before he had to shut his eyes against the pain of Inu-Hiroshi baying for escape. These two were predators and more dangerous than him—that made him very nervous. The only time Hiroshi had felt his Inu-self so close to all out panic had been when his adoptive uncle, theHokage, had let some of the Kyuubi’s chakra loose nearby.

“Ah, no.” Hiroshi said rubbing again at his temples and snarling at his Inu-self fiercely to shut up and stay still because he was going to handle things and they were not going to be eaten. He hoped.

“But you’re something close. Not a Walker. You smell like…dog. A mostly domestic dog.” The taller, less controlled man continued.

“Yes. Family curse.” Hiroshi said honestly, not volunteering any information.

“You were born like this?” Asked the first man.

“With all the traits, yes. They needed to be…activated…though.” Hiroshi said and tried very hard not to fidget.

The two men were silent for a long while, and Hiroshi was reminded of his twin elder brothers who barely needed eye contact to communicate, although he didn’t trust his control of Inu-Hiroshi enough to glance up and check on how they were speaking.

“Are you a threat to me and mine?” The sandy-haired man asked, voice deadly serious.

Hiroshi couldn’t help the bitter laugh, “If you were any normal human I’d say yes, but I doubt a single dog is a match for a pack of wolves. I doubt I’d be a match for a single one of you either. I don’t want to start trouble. I just want to get back to my pack.”

“They leaderless now?” The first man asked, concern evident.

“No. Thankfully not. My mother’s in charge. She’s the only one who’d ever keep all of us in line.” Hiroshi said.

“She’s more dominant that you are?” there was something in his tone that made Hiroshi grin.

“And frighteningly in control. My little sister is following in her footsteps too.”

“I’m not sure whether or not I actually want to meet your family or avoid them.” The pack-leader said with a small laugh. “You are welcome in my pack’s territory as long as you do not start trouble. Come, you’re not exactly dressed for the weather. What’s your name?”

Hiroshi blinked. Had he just passed inspection? “Hiroshi Umino.”

“I am Bran Cornnick and this is my son, Charles. Try not to antagonize my pack, not all of them are as in control as we are and are a bit volatile.” The pack-leader, Bran, said turning and leading the way back in the direction he’d come from.

“It’s just like a family reunion then.” Hiroshi said with a sigh, “avoid eye contact and don’t push anyones’ buttons, or we may not find your body.”

“Always good advice.” Charles said, nodding sagely.

"Leave the Seals to Experts"

Title: Leave Seals to the Experts

Fandom(s): Naruto RPG; Harry Potter

Spoilers: from Naruto RPG land

Rating: PG

Genre(s): General; Humor

Characters: Umino-Nara Tora; Severus Snape; Harry Potter; Minerva McGonagall; Albus Dumbledore

Prompt: Snark and Snape

Summary: Thanks to Harry’s ability to defy logic, Tora ends up a long way from home and makes a new friend.

Word Count: 1,010

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter ‘verse  and characters belong to J.K. Rowling, the Naruto ‘verse belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Tora is all mine. Do not borrow without permission. She gets pissy.

Author’s Notes: Requested by Leah. Started out as them being snarky towards one another and then Tora decided she liked Snape. Feel bad for Harry.

***

“Let me get this straight,” the tall, extraordinarily pale man said with a disbelieving sneer on his face as he stood off to the side of the large circular office Tora had been brought to after her unexpected arrival, “you appear out of nowhere in the middle of the castle armed with enough barbaric tools to satisfy a small army and threaten to kill us and now claim to mean no harm.”

Tora lifted an eyebrow at the sarcasm and said, “Yes.”

“And here I thought I would never find someone with less common sense than the Potter Brat.”

“Severus,” The wizened headmaster sitting behind his desk said, warning clear in his voice even as the boy in question reddened with embarrassment and fury and the head of his house, if Tora’s memory was correct, sent him a glare.

“Well pardon my healthy paranoia.” Tora drawled, shoving her hands in her pockets.

“And your ‘healthy paranoia’ often leads to extensive property damage?” McGonagall asked with a growl which made Tora wonder about any animalistic traits or tendencies.

“You know what? Now that I think about it…yes. It often does. Dead bodies on occasion as well.” The matter of fact way she talked about killing made the teenaged wizard pale a bit, but the other two barely blinked.

“Because property damage and death is the very definition of ‘healthy paranoia.’” Snape drawled, unconvinced.

“That would depend on where you live. It was back home.” She glanced around at the four magic-users standing around the office, “Speaking of ‘back home’ how’s about you work on sending me home. I’ve got kids to take care of and a sensei to pester. He seemed positive that nobody outside of the Hidden villages knew anything of fuinjutsu.” She sent an un-amused glance at the black-haired teenager who had accidentally summoned her.

“I’m afraid your sensei was actually correct, Mrs. Umino-Nara. What you called ‘fuinjutsu’ has been considered a lost art form for several hundred years.” Headmaster Dumbledore said and lifted up the book the Potter boy had handed over, “this book is the only one left in our library with any sort of information in it on Sealing techniques.”

“And Potter somehow managed to recreate the techniques by what, looking at pictures?” Snape asked with a nasty sort of sneer at the teenager. Tora decided that she liked the man as Potter twitched and shifted uncomfortably in silence.

“May I see the picture that was copied?” Tora finally asked “I know something of fuinjutsu and may be able to discern my own way of getting home since your oh-so-helpful magic-powers are proving to be useless.”

Snape snorted as Dumbledore handed the ancient book over to the kunoichi. Tora squinted at the diagram on the page and gave a heavy sigh.

“I suppose I should congratulate you then, Potter-san.” Tora drawled as she finished rough translation of the purpose of the seal silently, the teenager looked over at her, startled. “You managed to survive your first successful summons unscathed without any training. It’s a shame your seal overshot the intended target by a meter.”

Potter stood up straighter, perking a bit at his near success. Snape was scowling at her, apparently not happy at her complement towards the boy.

“Complete success would have been just rewards for this level of stupidity. Suddenly being face to face with the Kyuubi no Kitsune would have worked beautifully if that didn’t also mean instantaneous death for my sensei.” Tora continued, all three wizards looked a bit confused but she ignored them, “I don’t suppose any of you have ever heard of Uchiha Madara? If this sort of a summoning is here it’s likely he either came from here or brought this here.” She said indicating the book.

“Not off the top of my head, but it may be possible. Is he known for summoning this Kyuubi no Kitsune?” Headmaster Dumbledore asked.

“Yes, amongst other things like spawning a consistently psychotic clan known for treachery and mass murders and being a pseudo-immortal, he was also known for summoning the bijuu lord and letting him loose on villages he doesn’t like.” Tora said matter-of-factly and Potter suddenly paled and stared at the book.

“Would you kindly use terms we can all understand when you point out Potter’s iodcity. The smaller the words, the better.” Snape drawled, a small hint of a smirk forming as he watched Potter’s reaction.

“Of course, Snape-dono,” Tora said with a kind smile, she indicated the diagram in the book, “The summons described here is for the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the nine-tailed demon fox who is the lord of all the bijuu—the tailed demons that routinely decimated my home because they were bored. He was also under contract with Uchiha Madara who, despite having been around for the founding of my village, was still causing murder and mayhem up until a while ago either by his own merits, through his clan of fellow psychos, or by summoning the Kyuubi and letting him level mountains and cause tsunamis just for the hell of it.”

Snape’s grin was positively feral now as he stared at the teenage wizard, “and what would the Kyuubi have done if Potter had managed to summon it in the school?”

“Well, assuming the ten-story demon-fox resized itself to have more fun…it would probably result in the entire school’s population becoming snacks or playthings. Kyuubi hasn’t had any freedom in almost…forty years now I think. I highly doubt any of your magic would do more than tickle him. The only reason he was stopped in his last rampage was because a Master of fuinjutsu summoned a god to stop him.” Tora smiled at the now sweating teenager as he avoided meeting the eyes of a very disappointed and severe looking headmaster, a sharp looking McGonagall, and a delighted Snape. “Is there a place I could work on translating this completely and constructing a reversal?”

Snape spent another moment apparently committing this moment to memory before saying, “I have a spare potion’s lab you may use.” 

The Master Plan

This evil plan is brought to you with help by late night inspiration.

I honestly am a cruel, evil torturer of my characters. All of them have so much back-story which never seems to leave my twisted mind and makes them so very much fun to play with write. So why not give my muses more chances to play with that back-story and develop it?

In completely random 'verses and situations, of course. Can't make it too easy on them.

So much dimension jumping, time-travel, and confusion will ensue as I snag one of my original characters and punt them into a random 'verse and situation and watch as they attempt to survive.

Its Survivor: 'Verse Jumping Edition. Where the stakes have never been higher. And they've never hated the gods more.

So, who's going to be available for torture? My main characters from my novel-series which is slowly taking shape in my free time (very rare) and during NaNoWriMo. We'll be seeing: Eriol Griffin, Hotaru Ward, William Frey, Joanna Aiden, Ryan Maxwell, Jiang Long, and Jason Tavin. I won't give you too many spoilers here, but you'll be seeing them in the One-Shots eventually. Also potential play-things: Hayashi Yumi and Inuzuka Moriko (her children are available upon request) from the Naruto RPGs I've been in with friends. And Lizzie Bennet from a Harry Potter RPG I was briefly a part of.

Where can they appear? Well, I'm going to try and stick with 'verses I know well enough to not screw up cannon too much. The main list includes: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Naruto, Mercedes Thompson series, Star Wars, The Dresden Files, Tamora Pierce, Supernatural and others. Any requests for movies/books may be considered, but may take longer as I refresh my memory as to their rules etc.

Why am I doing this? Why not? I've got some bored muses and a bunch of characters and I already stick 'em in 'verses when I'm bored. This'll mean you get to see what goes on in my twisted mind.


You really should be worried.